If only internet dating worked like it was supposed to, imagine how wonderful that would be. Meeting your soul mate is hard work, with so much left to chance. The cute guy who smiled at you in the BTS car -- why did he have to get out at the next station?! The guy at work -- you like him, he likes you, but does he like you as much as you like him? So many handsome strangers out there, but what are they really like inside?

Along came internet dating sites with the promise to revolutionize the way we meet people. We can sit in front of our computer and connect with the whole world; we can find the perfect guy -- and we know he’ll be perfect because he meets all of the criteria we specified in our detailed search. And best of all, once we make contact, we can really get to know this person on the inside through emails and chatting.

If Only...

The truth is that both men and women who attempt to find love on the internet become quickly frustrated. That world of strangers that opens up contains a lot of people you would rather not know. From a woman’s point of view, there are three problems that inevitably come up:

1. Too many emails... or not enough
   Men, at least in the initial stage, aren’t interested in getting to know “the person inside.” They will respond to profiles only on the basis of the picture. If the picture you’ve posted isn’t extremely attractive, you are unlikely to get many responses. On the other hand, if your picture is attractive, you’re going to be overwhelmed by hundreds, thousands of emails, so many that it would be a full time job to read them and answer them. Ten percent of women on these dating sites get 90% of the responses.
2. People LIE...
   ... and the internet is a great place for liars. You’ve been carefully analyzing your prospective internet dates, and have finally found a guy who sounds wonderful. But is he really wonderful or just wonderful at writing profiles? The internet is

full of lonely people, and you should know by now that a guy will say practically anything to get a girl. Dating sites are frequently used by married men pretending to be single. Men will say they’re looking for a serious relationship when all they really want is sex. And many lonely farangs are sitting in front of the computer in their home country with an unrealistic fantasy of meeting the perfect Thai girl -- when in reality they will probably never get on a plane. Even on respectable dating sites, lots of the messages women receive are filthy sex talk.

3. “Chemistry” can’t be transmitted over the internet
   Who’s to say that the guy you’ve really gotten to know after lots of emails, phone calls, and countless hours of chats won’t turn out to be a dud when you meet him in the flesh. Or maybe he won’t like you. Maybe you’ll both like each other but will be missing that certain “spark.” Of course, he may truly turn out to be your soul mate, and internet dating might turn out to be the best thing you ever did. But the odds are against it.

My recommendation is to step away from the computer and get out into the real world. There is simply no alternative. Social networking sites like Facebook will be very valuable for keeping in touch with your prospective mate, but the first move has to be made in person. To take control of your dating life, try the proven formula for success developed by It’s Just Lunch (www.itsjustlunchbangkok. com, 02-625-3088). Their professional matchmakers will take your preferences into account and do the screening for you -- and since all who use the service have taken the time to do their extensive interviewing and have paid a fee, they’re serious about finding somebody special. (A special discount will be given to all girls joining in August with a lucky draw -- just mention you were sent by Yanisa

Then there’s always Bangkok Young Professionals Networking events every second Tuesday of the month (www.mobyelite.com/byp) and the Bangkok Trader Ladies Night Launch Party which has become one of the best-attended singles events in the city. Drinks are free for women -- I’ll see you there!