What, Me Worry?

by Neil Ray, This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it

Is there a country anywhere that’s so keen on cooking up laws and regulations and then finds the population of that country cook up ways to circumvent those rules?

Thailand has lots and lots of rules. Some are aimed specifically at foreigners, such as the strict immigration regulations that are almost impossible to avoid or the property ownership rules, some of which can be helped along by some assistance from a good creative legal team. But for the local community, rules are there to be avoided as most of them are inconvenient; and Thais don’t do inconvenience.

The most obvious disregard for the rules is out on the roads, where just about every normal law is broken. It would be really inconvenient to have to ride your motorbike on the other carriageway when you can simply go against the flow of traffic and drive down the wrong side. Those car drivers who can’t quite work out why the bike’s headlight is shining in the wrong direction will just have to avoid you. Does anyone remember the new law on mobile phones being used while driving? Has anyone seen this law being observed? No way. The natural answer to this encroachment on civil liberties is to get the darkest tinted windows available so nobody can see in, and then you can chat away for hours while driving with one hand or forearm or elbow (any appendage will work, really). Chatting on the phone while riding the motorbike is also perfectly okay. Who needs that left hand for braking anyway?

One thing that does worry me greatly about the driving in Thailand is the assumption that if the driver is happy, then the rest of the world is also happy. Driving with no lights is no problem because when the driver is cruising along at 100 kph, he can see the road ahead fine. What the driver doesn’t seem to realize in this attempt to save on the life of the car headlamps is we can’t see you!!! It’s usually a gray or silver car that blends in nicely with both road and sky at dusk.

Helmets for motorcyclists is another one. The traffic cops are out in force in Ladphrao every week, stopping and fining people for not wearing helmets. But then we see four up on a bike, but the law is being observed: that is, the driver has a helmet while Mum and the kids are free-and-easy to have their heads smashed in. I have to admit, I’m not sure if I know what the law on passengers is, but then I’m not sure anyone really does… or cares.

In the provinces, we see motorcyclists riding around in the rain carrying an umbrella in their left hand (once again, how on Earth do they brake?). And the reason they have to have an umbrella is because they don’t want to get their hair wet. And why will they get their hair wet??

Because they aren’t wearing a helmet!

It’s a triple whammy of unbelievable proportions because when it rains, the tires get wet, as do the roads. Let’s face it, it ain’t rocket science, but it might just be a bit inconvenient. The ultimate death wish is the motorcyclist driving on the wrong side of the road, at dusk with no lights, carrying an umbrella in the rain with no helmet. Does this person not want to live too long?

It’s odd, and it’s anarchic, yes, but we all know the next line….